T H E D A I L Y W T F

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The Condom Incident

I gathered up my oldest son's clothes for the laundry. Carefully. Due to the potential for crustiness and/or stickiness that, upon coming into contact with my skin, would damage me beyond the ability to function. I'm always wary of towels left in his room. Gawd...the horror.

I threw it all into the wash, and set it running.

Halfway through the spin cycle, he came home and informed me that I've washed his wallet. I grabbed the wet jeans and pulled his wallet out of the pocket, instinctively opening it to see what damage I've done.

It's contents:
One student ID.
One Trojen-Enz.

"Mom! Are you serious? You washed my last condom! Do you think it's still good?"

"Uhhhhh..."
::response unavailable, try again later::

"Mom?"

"Okay...despite all the motherly shananigans that are currently having a full contact kickboxing match in my head right now, two things: No, I wouldn't risk using a machine-washed condom. And two: You're not supposed to keep them in your wallet. I don't remember why, but don't put my parently knowledge to the test."

"Can I have money for new condoms?"

"Why do you ask me shit like that?"

"Because I like the way your face gets all psychotic."

"You are hellspawn."

6:09 AM - January 17, 2008

The question: How much more can she take? The answer: Ask again later. - February 22, 2008
Quick Update - February 13, 2008
Ass-whooping on a silver platter anyone? - January 26, 2008
The Condom Incident - January 17, 2008
Googled - Hump Day!