everyone...shut the fuck up.
07-30-10 | 7:54 a.m.
Just to make things clear...if the assclowns that live next door to me happen to come to some sort of grisly, bloody end with the involvement of lots of stabbing and/or chopping up of their annoying heads...it wasn't me.
I also wasn't responsible for carving their fucking yapping shit machines on leashes into gory jack-o-lanterns, either.
I'm just sayin'. Wasn't me.
There was a time when I kind of enjoyed the occasional police activity in my neighborhood. I mean, honestly, who doesn't wanna watch the couple across the street get yanked out of their apartment by their fucking heads and zip-tied in the street by the cops? That kind of shit is the perfect topper to an evening spent drinking on the front porch.
Maybe I'm getting old. Or maybe my neighborhood is going to shit. Or maybe I'm just more inclined to live out in the boonies where I can smoke a joint on my front step and have as big a goddamned bonfire as I want without being some kind of drive-by suburban zoo exhibit.
But I'm about ready to blow this pop stand. Throw a for sale sign on the front lawn and hope to god the silly bastards across the way don't have their drug dealer in the white pick-up truck meet them in the street while someone's looking at the house. Cross my fingers and hope any prospective buyer is completely deaf so the ankle-biters near me won't make them go Jack Torrance on their own family.
A nice place out in the sticks...nothing but crickets and the sound of my husband farting in his sleep. A girl could get used to that kind of thing.
I put the cool in ejacoolation - 08-17-14
STFU - 09-08-12
Be careful, people - 07-17-12
bow chicka bow wow - 07-03-12
Phoning it in - 07-01-12
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